To Learn More About Your Body At Mid-Life -
Including :
- How your body changes at mid-life and why your
sex life is affected
- Ten ways to put the Zing back in menopause sex
- How and why hormones change: What your doctor won't tell you !
- Hot Flashes & Mood Swings:What You Can Do
- Night Sweats: Why they Happen
- Dysfunctional Bleeding-What To Expect
- Irregular Periods: What They Mean
- Age-Proof Your Skin - Without spending a fortune!
- The real truth about HRT
- What to expect when you stop hormone therapy
- How to make sex feel good again
- How To Look Younger Without Surgery
- Female Sex Products That Really Work
- Natural Hormones: The REAL Truth
- How Mother Nature CAN Help
- How Exercise Can Change Your Sex Life
And So Much More !
If these are the topics on your mind
then you need . . . .
Your Perfectly Pampered Menopause
The book that really understands how you feel -
and shows you how to feel better !
While pulling back may not be helpful, trying
harder isn't the answer either. Here's what
you can do. . .
By Colette Bouchez
While many women jump ship in troubled sexual waters, others take the opposite approach and literally try to drown their mate in eroticism, believing the problems will disappear is they simply try harder. Not only is this not true, experts say this approach can make things worse.
"If you suddenly start trotting out all your old Victoria's Secret underwear - or buy some sexy new clothes - well that's only going to put more pressure on him, and it's not going to help the ED one bit," says Foley.
Neither, she says, will more arduous attempts at making love. " Stroking him harder isn't going to matter either because you have to remember, this isn't a problem related to being turned on, " says Foley. As such, the more and the harder you try, the worse it's going to be for him - and for you - when it doesn't happen, says Foley.
McCullough agrees: " You don't want to forget about what's going on, or pretend it doesn't matter, but turning into a nymphomaniac isn't the answer either."
So what should a woman do when her man just can't perform? Experts seem to agree that most important is to remember it's not your problem and you're not the cause.
"Don't feel rejected and don't personalize it - it's not about you," says Foley.
Once you're past that hurdle, experts say do acknowledge the problem exists, and open the lines of communication about it.
"The best thing to do is to discuss things outside of the bedroom - not right after it happens, but days or even weeks later, " says sex expert Jennifer Downey, MD, a psychiatrist at New York State Psychiatric Institute and a professor at Columbia University. During this talk Downey says make certain that your man is aware of the health problems that can be the cause of his ED, and gently suggest he talk to his doctor.
Indeed, Downey believes the more matter of fact a woman can be in approaching this conversation, the more likely she is to get through to her man.
"You have to treat this the way you would any other non-life threatening issues in your relationship, and just calmly discuss it, " says Downey.
McCullough adds, "If you put it in the context of a physical problem and not a sexual one, most men will be less likely to 'shut down' or shut you out." While some men would rather go the treatment route alone, others might welcome the support of their partner, so be certain to make the offer to go with him, and then let your man decide.
Also important, say experts, is to use this discussion to let him know that you have enjoyed the physical part of your relationship together, and that you miss it - and that together you can work to find a solution.
"This is the time to treat your man as your best friend - to be warm, to be friendly, to grab his hand, to give him hugs and kisses, to let him know that you care about him, that he is desirable, that physical closeness is important," says Foley.
From A Woman's Point of View . . .
Part Two:
Is your partner plagued by erectile dysfunction (ED)?
Here's encouraging advice on how to cope.
Menopause health and sex information for women including male erectile dysfunction.
YourMenopause.com
The Source.
